Let Freedom Ring

Friend of mine posted a link on Facebook today of photographs taken at 60 New York City weddings.  They are lovely pictures — full of smiles, tears, exuberance, elation, dresses, tuxes, flowers,  hugs, kisses, children, families, friends.   You know, the usual wedding stuff.

Did I mention that these are same-sex couples?  I didn’t?  Well, there’s a reason — because their sexual orientation does not matter.  They are couples in love.  They got married.  ‘Nuff said.

I’ve already begun to hear some belittling remarks — look how fat/thin, old/young, stupid/ridiculous they look!  (Unsurprisingly, those remarks come from people who find humor in pictures of hetero weddings where they feel free to tear down people’s choice in attire, food, etc.)  I can’t change the attitude of such unenlightened folk, but I invite them look — to really LOOK — at those photos, particularly the one of two elderly women (one in a wheelchair) embracing — two women who have clearly spent their lives together and can only now declare it openly to the world.

I’m so grateful they lived long enough to see this day.  I’m grateful that I have lived long enough to see it.

(The other photo I love is the one of two little girls embracing their daddies.  Those smiles are worth a million dollars.)

What right does society have to declare a marriage legal or illegal?  The notion is ridiculous.  Love is love, no matter how you slice it.

We have such a double standard.  We  look down our noses at loving, long-term, supportive, child-rearing same-sex relationships.  We look down our noses at hetero relationships where children are involved, but not marriage (unless you’re a celebrity, of course; then it’s okay).  Maybe we just like to look down our noses?  I know of long-term (20+ years) hetero relationships (at least two in my own family) that ended in screaming and abuse.  I know of long-term (again, 20+ years) same-sex relationships that are supportive and loving through adversity.  And vice-versa.

(To paraphrase Tina Turner:  what’s sex have to do with it?)

Why does this issue of same-sex marriage matter, least of all to our government?  We hare experiencing screaming debt, men and women dying in wars, drugs, crime, starvation — and those individuals we have put into power over us choose instead to focus their attention on whether or not same-sex marriage is “real” or “legal?”



About Melissa Crandall

Longer ago than I care to admit--although I will--I cut my writing teeth on fanzines and media tie-in novels. Since then, I've moved on to narrative nonfiction, speculative fiction, and essays. I write to explore and understand the world around me, the things I see and experience nearby or from a distance. If I shake myself up, cool. If I shake you up, even better. Not gratuitously--what's the point in that?--but to set what I know, or think I know, on end and realize, "Well, doesn't it look different from this side!" My work is neither sexually explicit nor graphically violent. Let's face it - your imaginations will come up with things far worse than anything I could write, no matter how descriptive. Besides, it's just not my thing. I live in Connecticut with my supportive husband Ed, a cat named Ruby who might just think she's a dog, and an epileptic Australian shepherd named Holly who isn't quite certain anymore who she is, except she knows she loves her mommy.
This entry was posted in Change, Connecticut, Discrimination, Essays, Gay/Lesbian, love, Melissa Crandall, Same-Sex Marriage, Writer, Writing and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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