Other Side of the Shovel

And there are the mornings when you wake up and it’s all okay again.  At least for a while.

Airline Trail

Airline Trail

You know the bad feelings will return – they’re as inexorable as the seasons and about as controllable – but they, like everything, will pass.  Some days it’s easier than others to take a deep breath and go Zen in the face of whatever life is throwing you.  On the days you can’t, you can’t.   Accept that, struggle forward, try to get some sleep.

Today I walked three miles through a frozen freshwater marsh accompanied by my faithful pooch.  Saw gorgeous mallards, busy sapsuckers, and a beautiful heron.  Took frost pictures, breathed deep.  Coming back to the house was difficult, but it’s a better day for both me and for Mom.  She’s more with it, a little more like her old self, and those are days to be enjoyed and to be grateful for.  A little normalcy amid all the madness.

About Melissa Crandall

Longer ago than I care to admit--although I will--I cut my writing teeth on fanzines and media tie-in novels. Since then, I've moved on to narrative nonfiction, speculative fiction, and essays. I write to explore and understand the world around me, the things I see and experience nearby or from a distance. If I shake myself up, cool. If I shake you up, even better. Not gratuitously--what's the point in that?--but to set what I know, or think I know, on end and realize, "Well, doesn't it look different from this side!" My work is neither sexually explicit nor graphically violent. Let's face it - your imaginations will come up with things far worse than anything I could write, no matter how descriptive. Besides, it's just not my thing. I live in Connecticut with my supportive husband Ed, a cat named Ruby who might just think she's a dog, and an epileptic Australian shepherd named Holly who isn't quite certain anymore who she is, except she knows she loves her mommy.
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3 Responses to Other Side of the Shovel

  1. Michelle Perkins says:

    beautiful ❤

  2. lmcgee@dallasswop.com says:

    You are… just simply put…………..AWESOME!!!! My hero forever…..

    • Well….thank you, Linda. As I said to Elaine, I don’t feel much like a hero, but it’s amazing to meet so many people who say (in essence) “You put into words what I’m feeling!” We’re taught to keep the bad stuff inside and silent and hidden away. We’re taught to present only a positive light. Well, there are plenty of positive experiences and even humor within Alzheimer’s, but it’s not a pretty road to travel. I spent too many years hiding my truth and covering other people’s tracks. No more.

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